Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.