I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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