So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.