Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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(802): View more from Vermont

he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Houston, we have a problem

(781): View more from Massachusetts

where are u?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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(404): View more from Georgia

So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Are you alive?

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I woke up under the pier.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.

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