Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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(508): Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it. http://tfl.nu/eqxg

Replies (34) Good night (971) Bad night (3010)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

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(651): make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS. (1-651): I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much. http://tfl.nu/xzl0

Replies (40) Good night (3862) Bad night (5046)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

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(973): I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship. http://tfl.nu/z11g

Replies (23) Good night (2028) Bad night (4728)
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(210): View more from Texas

I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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(210): I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours. http://tfl.nu/n5xc

Replies (4) Good night (4051) Bad night (1279)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.

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(330): Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron. http://tfl.nu/yv9g

Replies (5) Good night (4154) Bad night (805)
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(509): View more from Washington

And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid

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(509): And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid http://tfl.nu/oqc1

Replies (9) Good night (3523) Bad night (744)
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(845): View more from New York

"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.

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(845): "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life. http://tfl.nu/f41e

Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (1075)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.

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(973): Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless. http://tfl.nu/9nhz

Replies (13) Good night (3731) Bad night (762)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies

(1-303): View more from Colorado

You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?

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(303): I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies (1-303): You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you? http://tfl.nu/cczo

Replies (5) Good night (1422) Bad night (521)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?

(601): View more from Mississippi

probably "functioning vagina, must touch"

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(228): I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her? (601): probably "functioning vagina, must touch" http://tfl.nu/w791

Replies (4) Good night (1473) Bad night (574)
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(631): View more from New York

She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat

(1-631): View more from New York

SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.

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(631): She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat (1-631): SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT. http://tfl.nu/se9g

Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (513)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Ya that ship has sailed dude

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(317): The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh. (1-317): Ya that ship has sailed dude http://tfl.nu/5hyc

Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (461)
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(616): View more from Michigan

i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them

(1-616): View more from Michigan

its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you

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(616): i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them (1-616): its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you http://tfl.nu/jk07

Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (442)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

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(775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k

Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (763)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember

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(201): I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember http://tfl.nu/x7zh

Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (415)

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