Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?

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(408): View more from California

Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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(718): View more from New York

He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

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(718): View more from New York

You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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(516): View more from New York

I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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(219): View more from Indiana

We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside

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(707): View more from California

On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.

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