I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
