He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The ass gains better be worth it
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