I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
