drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
