She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
