I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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