He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
