this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
