Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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