Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
