forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
