You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize