I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Found your dick twin last night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
