Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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