Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
