i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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