Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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