I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
