John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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