He felt like a one man threesome
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
