Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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