We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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