Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
