margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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