We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
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Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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