you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
