She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
