How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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