if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
