Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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