Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
