is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my sisters under your porch take her home
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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