omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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