Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
