On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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