I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
