at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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