But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
