so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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