____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
