i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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