my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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