i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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