so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Panties = found
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