I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
