lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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