So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
