I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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