my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
