i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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