What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
