He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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