I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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