he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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