hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
