If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
