So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
