So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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