my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You did what with his pubic hair?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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