I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize