She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
