My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh god it's open bar.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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