I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
