i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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