idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
