I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
